trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
