I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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