Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
