The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
