Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
