So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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