You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
His nipple licking is glorious
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