So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
In America we eat man semen.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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