Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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