Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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