He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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