i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
