the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
