check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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