Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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