I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
