I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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