How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
