Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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