my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
