Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
