So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
BRING THE BAGELS
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
