I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
