Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize