Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
