i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
