I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
