guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
