I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
