I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
