People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Everclear isn't food dammit
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
