in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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