I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
