STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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