"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
