Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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