nut hugger
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
