if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
