Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
