woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
