think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
