____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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