why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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