Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
