That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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