Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
