Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize