Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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