One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
