Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
