That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
