with your own penis?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
did you just send me my own nude
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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