video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
