We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
