we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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