i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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