he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
