Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
