When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
