Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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