There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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