I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
