I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
