Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
