New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
