don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
